Itsh yo time!

[smrr]

That's right, girl:

It's showtime!

Time for me to "officially" begin my deathline goals, as I've finally managed to tell both of my parents and loved ones about leaving uni to study art.

Although I'm already keeping with a good lot of these - officially posting them will remind me to keep from slacking off at times and stay focussed.
The goals:

Look after your health:
* remain off of sweets daily - only on rare occasions e.g. restaurants
* yoga once a day - without fail
* take breaks regularly, stretch
* avoid overeating
* overlooked: stay hydrated

Try your hardest to improve on your art:
* try to get 12hrs study in a day
* focus on the fundamentals - more importantly: what you suck at - one thing at a time
* get better at painting digitally
* re-do Art Camp
* do at least one Daggers challenge a month!


Stay focussed:
* remind yourself daily of your goals, visualise
* "be here now" when about to get distracted
* stay away from time-wasters until after completed study - 1hr max.
* be constantly thinking, questioning, evaluating and paying attention.
* stay organised, schedule up!

And most importantly: stay consistent and never give up!! If you miss a day studying, add more hours in the next day/add a day altogether. Make it work. Simple :D

1st evaluation will be on the 1st of Feb 2014 (:

[SpectreX]

Good luck smrrfette!
I know you can do it!

How did your parents and loved ones react?

[smrr]

Thank you SpectreX :D!

Hahaha, well um, I told my uni friends first and they understood straight away (considering I was drawing in every lecture/tute I was in), and some had wondered why I hadn't left earlier to pursue art, which me me smile.

Then, I told my mother on that same beautiful, sunny afternoon and wow was she piiiiiiissed.
It took about 2 weeks for her to calm the fack down, before I finally managed to talk her into it (more like show her through hard work) and receive her support. Through which I was able to leave uni.
After this I told my closest friends. They understood and were supportive, although they still don't understand why I have to work so hard. And why I can't hang out 95% of the time.

And then yesterday... I finally had to guts to tell my father (he doesn't live with us, so I only see him every now and then. I say "guts" because he's always been strict when it came to school, high school and getting into uni etc. I could've easily just called - but I realised: if I was going to stand up for what I believe in and my passion in life - I had to tell him in person. So anyway, I told him - he looked at me, face stern and simply exclaimed: "why?"
I let it all out.
Got all emotional 'n shit :3
After I finished, he remained staring at me as I remained staring at him, before he inhaled deeply and said:

"okay".

He explained that he would rather have me work in a field that I love, than be forced to become something I'm not.
He also told me that he believed I could it. That he felt my passion. And saw my determination.
Man, hearing that from my Dad meant the world to me. I feel I can punch a hole through the moon now haha.

Cheers!

[Finnjamin]

Woah, this gives me a whole new appreciation for having parents that don't give a fuck. You're a hero! Now knock this deathline out of the park.

Also, I'm subscribing because my licence will expire the same day as your deathline.

Stay hydrated!

[smrr]

Hahahaha I laughed so hard: "stay hydrated"

awh, thanks man, really means a lot!
I'll probably only be posting here when I'm about to do the mid and full evaluation though - everything's gonna be posted in my sketchbewk :3

[darktiste]

shit a lost my emotion reading how unsupportive parent could be sometime then i saw hope as i realise how much they just want you to be happy at the end of that.(parent to often want to make a path for there children since those children dont know what they want to do in life most of the time .take a moment and realise that 1 or 2 gen before us school was less important then working so they drop school earlier and now they just want you to follow there lost dream(generalisation).also To often we only think about the money and satiscation not the truly worth thing like the passion health and friendship and we end up with stress and anger.so i take a bit of my time to say that you really inspire me to never let anyone put me down

[smrr]

Oh, Hex! Is it already the 1st of February?!

Time to evaluate!!

Look after your health:

* Okay, stay off sweets daily except occasions? That went well in 2013, until about Sept to New Year's D: Jan to Feb I've been clean again though. x
*yoga w/o fail? Again, that went well - until I found out that that was what was screwing up my arm, so I don't yoga anymore. At least I figure out why it screws it up so badly. -
* I drink dat h20 ✔
* I do take breaks more regularly ✔
* did well with the overeating, until about Sept lol. My body was all like, "omg you're eating sweets again? Here, eat more pasta!" so no, that was a fail. And since I've been off sweets since New Year's, my body is all like "YES YOU MUST EAT MORE NOW BECAUSE YOU NO EAT SWEETS NOMNOMNNOM" x

Try your hardest to improve on your art:

* for the most part, I have been putting in that much time - if not more ✔
* yeah, I've been focussing on the fundamentals. ✔ what I "suck"at? Working on it! These things are generally things I would put off in the past, due to fear. Its only recently that I've really adopted a "come hither, dear. Let me... kick your ass!" mindset when it comes to facing fears and conquering things I suck at. Thank you DS.
*ha! Only toward the end of the year did I even push myself to try and get better painting digitally i.e. with DS and now with study vs applying straight away. But I s'pose I've gotten a bit better, which is humbling:



* indirectly, I think I've done a lot for Art Camp - but not entirely. Maybe I should punch myself in the face for forgetting about this one :) x
* ugh 1 daggers challenge a month?! Fail atm D: although, I did sort of with the character gen for a couple of months... but no, that's still a fail! x

Stay focussed:

* never really reminded myself daily, I just knew I wanted to get better at art (that is the ultimate goal afterall) only since New Year's have I been doing this more often.
* yes and no. I didn't get too distracted when working, although, I know I could do better with this one.
* for the most part, I do keep away from any time-wasters while studying something. This was meant for Facebook, YouTube, etc while studying, so yes. ✔
* I do think more critically when I study, even in irl. Paying attention to those subtle changes, minor details, how light reacts, etc. ✔
* mmm. Mmmm... uuuuhh... kind of. I have a basic structure I follow, it seems to be working well, which I can alter to suit time constraints, etc. Essentially, I'm organised as fcuk when I'm not having an artblock, burning out or my arm freaking out on me. ✔

Staying consistent and never give up? ✔
Don't know about the adding more hours onto the next day, that idea is a bit of a headache. Unless if I was losing like 2hrs? I could do that on top of 12hrs, but that's the limit. And besides, when I do catchup work like that, I forget to take breaks and if I'd already done 12hrs of art - my arm is like "nope!" *activate burning sensation* so yeah, no. If I lose a lot of hours, I lose them for good. Just gotta remember that.'

So 8 out of 14 goals I've kept with? Hah! One more than half and I'm halfway through *high fives herself*

But now that I'm halfway, what can I do to improve before August 1st?

Stop freaking out, i.e. looking too far ahead in the future. Take every day as it comes. Do what you love. Study and then straight away apply. More observation studies. More personal work applying studies and finished pieces (gotta build that portfolio). One day a week, don't be so hard on yourself with diet, otherwise you'll go insane (like you already have - sweets are still off limits except restaurants though... they're just bad, remember?).
Take longer breaks if you know you're not doing your arm good.
Keep fear held hostage.

And be you!

Onwards to the 2nd half of my Deathline. Bring on August 1st, 2014!

[Tygerson]

Wow, way to put the work in! It really shows in your "then and nows!"

Keep taking care of yourself! Hope you've found a fun replacement for yoga, like dance or kickboxing videos. It helps your art to try out those kinds of activities, too. You understand a dancing or martial arts pose better if you've worked through it yourself a bunch.

[Doolio]

Omg, your painting exploded! I mean really, I'm amazed... wow

[eru]

goodluck man, But I had a question about how do you do art in 12 hours when I got to work for like 8hrs so thats like 24 hours because I have to travel for 1hour just saying. And does 12 hours do not include breaks and eating ? I tried to apply that 12 hour method but it didn't work

[smrr]

Thank you all muchly <3

Well, I saved up some cash and am studying at home full-time. Sometimes it's more than just 12hrs, depending on whether I'm working on a personal piece, reading, etc. But yeah.

If you're working 8hrs already and then coming home to study art, obviously 12hrs on top of the 8 is going to be hell!
Try waking up earlier if you can to get more hours in. I know that when I was still in uni at the beginning of 2013, I was waking up at 5AM on some days when I knew uni would take up most of my hours. I also found it's the sneaky sketches, ideas/notes and observations when you're out and about that goes a long way in understanding.
Find any time you can to draw! Even a pocket-sketchbook will do! Keep it with you at work - there are so many possibilities to learn every day that we take for granted.

All the best, eru!

[Wolfyx93]

I just read through this, so great! similar situation to me. Unfortunately i didn't drop uni (wish i did) :( i ended up finishing it, well finishing it now... 1 unit left which will be done in November. But I also saved and am studying full time at home, my parents were supportive when i told them... luckily.

Great to see your progress and determination.

[smrr]

I just read through this, so great! similar situation to me. Unfortunately i didn't drop uni (wish i did) :( i ended up finishing it, well finishing it now... 1 unit left which will be done in November. But I also saved and am studying full time at home, my parents were supportive when i told them... luckily.

Great to see your progress and determination.

Awww snap! Hey man, thanks for reviving my DEATHLINE O_O 
I kinda forgot this existed! I'm gonna have to update it with my current standings haha.

That's awesome that you're finishing uni - the second you finish, the time is all yours, make sure to go as hard as you can but most importantly, work smart!
Very cool that your 'rents are supportive, however, don't take their support as a "I can coast because they're supportive of what I'm doing, studying full-time at home" :3 . Pretend they aren't so that you're forced to prove yourself to people ;)

You can do it, Wolfie! I hope to see your  DEATHLINE up here soon!

[smrr]

3 (and a bit? idk I don't math) MONTHS LATE -- the dropbears have been on my back since June 30 2015 to take my life...

Avoiding death has been ridic. But I'm here and ready to update my deathline in the hopes the art gods will permit an extension of my dastardly cause... 

Alright, I'm not gonna be nice to myself. I had that RSI issue, sure. But then I burned out and kept burning out, thus screwing everything up in terms of my goals.
So, let's do this, and afterward I'm gonna update with new goals. I've learned from these and I know what to put and what not to put. Seeing as I basically micro-managed my deathline goals. AHAHA. Silly old-young-naive-me

Updates!
____________________________________

The goals:

Look after your health:
* remain off of sweets daily - only on rare occasions e.g. restaurants 
> LOL fail, but real good now ☒
* yoga once a day - without fail
> lasted 'til what like Oct 2014? But I'm back in the game since Sept ☒
* take breaks regularly, stretch
> Yep.  ☑
* avoid overeating
> Failed that, but I've been good since Aug. Fuckin' finally. ☒
* overlooked: stay hydrated
> Ehhhhm, etsy getsy - here and there. Been a lot better so I'll give that a check. ☑

Try your hardest to improve on your art:
* try to get 12hrs study in a day
> I was consistent with this up until RSI issue. 2014 was a blur of playing games, not arting art at all really, I couldn't stay consistent, I can't lie about that. Only since August this year have I been getting slowly but surely studying it up again - though breaks are still a thing and I've been trying to reduce them as much as possible. But at this very moment, the discipline is strong and I have my best friend to thank for that. No pain no gain, let's go.
* focus on the fundamentals - more importantly: what you suck at - one thing at a time
> I'm drawing boxes now, if that counts? lmao -- shit. I mean I am, but I could have done this better, so... ☒
* get better at painting digitally
> I guess this is a tick, kinda. ☑
* re-do Art Camp
> lol no ☒
* do at least one Daggers challenge a month!
> sort of :( ☒


Stay focussed: 
* remind yourself daily of your goals, visualise
> now I am, during burn out period no - so thas a-another fail ☒
* "be here now" when about to get distracted
> not anymore ☒
* stay away from time-wasters until after completed study - 1hr max.
> Mmmm. I'm still decent with this, when I really need to be ☑
* be constantly thinking, questioning, evaluating and paying attention.
> Etsy getsy, here and there. Sometimes, there's nothing going on up in that noggin. But usually, I am doing this. ☑
* stay organised, schedule up!
> now I am, past me - nope. Fuck ☒

"And most importantly: stay consistent (read: failed that shit) and never give up (read: haven't failed the most important thing, so that's something lmao) !! "


I don't think I'll update with how my art is lookin' since the 1st of Feb 2014 lol. 
Seeing as I'm not happy with what I've completed over 2014 urgh. Still just a blur.

Lets just start fresh, like I have been since Sept/Oct this year.



New goals! 
Logging progress monthly 'til I check back on 1/1/16 to see where I'm at with these short term goals!

S.T:
○ Produce work you want to see. 
○ Do fan art!
○ Share more online
○ Complete Inktober 2015
○ Daily SP's (Oct1-Nov1)  edit: do more SP's as study for International SP Day Nov 1st.
○ Website with at least 5 pieces you're happy with by 1/01/16 (mix of fan art/original).
○ Instagram - 75 posts by the end of the year 
○ Study - at least 2.5 hrs of focused study per day (schedule - will update in thread)
○ Health+Fitness consistency! 
○ Get freelance work 

L.T:
*** hmm ~ dream big, little one *** 

Note to self: micro breaks are everything, don't be stupid, stretch, look after yourself. Also, if you feel burn out incoming, take a day off - find what inspires you, just chill the fck out, go for a walk, go for a bike ride, clear your mind! 1 day off isn't going to hurt, what will hurt is not wanting to draw for weeks and weeks and wasting all of that valuable, valuable time.

> Checking back on Nov 1st to see where I'm at with my S.T goals!

[Punk-A-Cat]

Those are awesome goals smrr, ESPECIALLY the being kind to yourself ones :) I really like the fact you are focusing on art /you/ want to see.. that just makes so much sense (why didn't I think of that!)
You can do et.. I /believe/ in you! (You're already so awesome, just gonna get awesomer! -> that's a word, kay!)

[smrr]

Thanks Top Cat!
Yeah I really tried narrowing down my goals this time haha. The making art you wanna see one has been a long time coming and I feel we should all strive toward that ideal... not what other people what to see + their expectations.
And thaaaaanks forrrr believing in meeee <3 <3 hahaha awesome-r. ;)

[smrr]

UPDATE

○ Produce work you want to see. 
*Check! Though it's been mostly fanart, I've been slowly finding myself. Getting a lot of ideas in my head... in the style I see my work evolving into
○ Do fan art!
**Check!
○ Share more online
**Check!
○ Complete Inktober 2015
**Check!
○ Daily SP's (Oct1-Nov1)  edit: do more SP's as study for International SP Day Nov 1st.
**Check!
○ Website with at least 5 pieces you're happy with by 1/01/16 (mix of fan art/original).
--Not a check :( get to work, lady. Inktober was your excuse for not doing this. Rectify. Remember, things you wanna see.
○ Instagram - 75 posts by the end of the year 
**Check! Smashed this one, already on like 84 posts of something
○ Study - at least 2.5 hrs of focused study per day (schedule - will update in thread)
*Check! Mostly. Could do better some days.
○ Health+Fitness consistency! 
*Check! Could do a bit better, you know where.
○ Get freelance work 
--Not a check - this can't exactly happen if I don't even have a portfolio/direction I'm headed in...

Will add more thoughts on this monthly check-in tomorrow.

Edit: what needs to get done in Nov:
○ Study Hogarth daily (torso, back movements) 2.5hrs (+ application)
○ Study perspective
○ Insta post threekly -- application of what you've studied. .. but with a valid idea! Not brainfarts.
○ 2 illustrations of your choosing. Fan art redesign, etc.

[smrr]

""-Quick update:

Current thoughts:

It's that time again.

Over the course of 2 years, I've been struggling with my art. Obviously. But not just on the surface.

A little personal history. Here's what I consider to be the meaning behind the phrase "it's that time again" :

Chasing 'perfection' is destructive. When I started my art odyssey in 2013, I never realised just how much of a psychological battle it would be. I set out to "paint anything and everything". Which I later changed to " draw anything and everything", a more fitting goal, seeing as painting (as in, realistic painting), isn't me. I naively thought that: if I could paint anything, so long as its realistic and technically brilliant, I would get all the jobs and life would be easy. 
However, the more and more I painted as such - the more and more this... feeling... this... muck grew in the back of my mind. 
Until it takes over and makes me question: "what aM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?" aka "why aren't I enjoying art?".

When I question myself as such, I take time off...line. I research, I may draw for myself, but most of all - I stay away from the internet because everything becomes overwhelming. 

Indeed, regrettably I haven't been active on the forums in any way, including CD Hangouts (my new found love)... but when the muck claims its territory in my mind, I know its when things need to change, otherwise I'll burn out and won't want to draw for the longest time, because obviously, I'm not doing something right if I'm not having fun.

Now, what I have learned from this round of "ITTAR" (read: its-that-time-again-research)? Once again, I'm a pussy. I want people to like what I make, even if I don't like what I make. I have been and am still in denial. "Oh no, it's fine" I tell myself. "Realism is how you get jobs, girl. Just gotta git gud! - Dave and Dan did it, so did Alex Negrea and John Silva... why it's the Crimson Dagger wayyyy!!" 
But that only applies if the individual actually enjoys painting realistically.

Since it began, I've been following the Tumblr blog "dearartdirector" religiously. It's a truly magnificent creation and I can't thank the AD's enough for taking the time to answer so many questions in the limited time they have. I've learned so much from the blog, especially in terms of the style debate. They speak about illustrators marketing themselves and how their unique style is incredibly important and influential in the industry. Now, I of course, already knew about this. Heck, I have written about this numerous time before... but the difference is, I'm not afraid anymore. In the past, when I spoke about this topic, it was only on the surface. Kind of like a reminder to myself - and then I would go back to drawing and painting realistically (or attempting to etc) and getting no satisfaction from what I had created.

As I'm writing this, I can't help but think again - "what's the point?" 

We're all struggling to be artist's. But why make the struggle even harder when you're not doing the art for yourself? 

I look around and I see artist's portfolios. The way II see it, a portfolio should describe who the artist is in every single piece. There should be a consistency. It should flow. Sure, I've heard and read many a "what makes a good portfolio" article or whatever in my time as an aspiring artist, - but only now are all of these things clicking.

I, after almost 2 years of studying art, still unashamedly do not have a portfolio made. 

Everyone else who's been studying art seems to have one made, yet I don't. The main reason being: I didn't know who I was as an artist... I still... don't. But I understand a lot better than I ever could have back when I started out. 
In the end, as I mentioned before: a portfolio should describe the artist. What they stand for. Who they are. You're selling yourself and your brand after all, so what's the point in creating a body of work that is a lesser version of what you believe in, because you're too much of a pussy to chase what you truly want to create?

This is a conflict I face periodically. When the clock strikes "that time again" I wanna be prepared... I wanna annihilate the very idea behind that phrase. 

Because it shouldn't even exist.

I sketched around yesterday before bed and this came out:


It doesn't look like much for what it is, but it means a lot. You know when things just come to you? And you enter a state of flow when you're drawing? That's what this was. I was sketching... and I was just going for it, I was spewing ideas by the end of it... which I saved on a separate file because they were downright interesting in my eyes and I want to take them further in the future. 
But they were sparked by these quick freehand drawings.
I stayed up til 2:40AM last night drawing on my cinteech and in my sketchbook, a rare feat for drawing. Which goes to show just how wrong I've been doing it. Drawing and doing art should always feel like that. It should get addictive... it should feel like it did as you were a child, as Bobby Chiu said - take a step back and draw for that inner child.

This is me getting a whole lot of pent up, sent up, vent up happening. Getting a whole lot of the muck out from my mind and pushing toward a personal voice in my art that I can and want to stand by. 

To anyone who finds this and actually bothers reading it, sorry lol. It was intended as a means of clearing my head to getting back to speed with things. I guess you could compare it to cleaning your PC from a bunch of useless space-wasting junk to enhance it's performance. Haha, I don't know. 

Here's to discovery-! 

smrr out. o/

[Adam Lina]

I was wondering what happened to you. I just figured the drop bears claimed yet another victim. I started my sketch book here about 2 years ago and I still dont have a single portfolio piece either... (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

But I say, fuck it. Go on and find your inner child, smmr!

I stayed up til 2:40AM last night drawing on my cinteech and in my sketchbook, a rare feat for drawing. Which goes to show just how wrong I've been doing it. Drawing and doing art should always feel like that. It should get addictive... it should feel like it did as you were a child, as Bobby Chiu said - take a step back and draw for that inner child.

I have those nights once in a blue moon. Im still wondering how to maintain that state over longer periods of time. Dat flow state is a cruel mistress. Shes come and goes before you know it. Let me know if you figure out how to tame her ლ(́◉◞౪◟◉‵ლ)

[smrr]

You're a legend, Adam (...but still screw you and your kawaii emojis >_> )! Yeah, I just need to get my shit together and hone in on what I wanna see. Fundamental drawing skill is the way to get there and just exploring. I'll definitely let you know when I figure it out 100%
But for now, just keep doing you, Adam! Do what you enjoy in your sketches!

Dec ²nd update:

Did I focus on the goals I wrote for Nov? No, not really. Well, not everyday. Was this a conscious choice? Yes. As I wrote in the wall of text above - Nov was a turning point.

○ Study Hogarth daily (torso, back movements) 2.5hrs (+ application)
Sometimes doing. Helpful in conjunction with perspective knowledge 100% . I.e. learn the shit out of perspective and everything gets easier.
○ Study perspective
Have been doing. Very helpful.
○ Insta post threekly -- application of what you've studied. .. but with a valid idea! Not brainfarts.
There were many brainfarts because I was drawing for me. Nothing worthy to share on Instagram imo.
○ 2 illustrations of your choosing. Fan art redesign, etc.
Not just yet. But I have plans <3

I feel the biggest thing right now for me to get in order is having somewhat of a 5 year goal down. Even though nothing in life is plastered in cement and there is that element of surprise that life is so full of... I should still at least plan somewhat into the future, L.T, just so that
can wake up with a clear vision in my mind, with a good to do list thats a byproduct of my future goals.

Anyway. In terms of my fitness goals...

Suc-cess.

Consistency on point. I feel so goooooood-!!

Considering old me would have given up on fitness if she'd screwed up the majority of the year... but I honestly have kept at it and feel myself getting stronger. :DD that is the goal afterall!

So goals for this month:

- Have 5 year plan set by tonight.
°update! Done-!
- Stay offline, get shit done. Go old school.
- Focus on the things you dig, experiment.
- Draw everyday.
- 2hr illustration everyday/sketchbook drawing/ideas everyday