Wasteland

[Yanifska]

Hey guys,

this is the piece I worked the most I ever did on any piece and somehow it got completely ignored. I just never got feedback on any social site.

So please, tell me what you think of it and how you'd improve it.
I t would really help.

[artistebot]

This is an interesting piece, I think the focal point is the figures in the back? What is the narrative? I think you could try using a harder edge brush for the fog and some of the forms. Tempting to add a few rim light edges, to help add interest too.

[Yanifska]

This is an interesting piece, I think the focal point is the figures in the back? What is the narrative? I think you could try using a harder edge brush for the fog and some of the forms. Tempting to add a few rim light  edges, to help add interest too.

thanks for passing by,
I definitely agree that the fog could get more form with a harder edge.
Where would you put the rim lights ?

[xelfereht]

Hey, It's a nice piece rendering wise but it doesn't feel too interesting as far as narrative. If they're moving through the water you might see some ripples which would give a sense of movement and might make it more interesting. You could think of many reasons why these guys are in this place, maybe if you add some details to suggest what they are doing? I see guns, maybe you could add something in the image to suggest why they need the guns. it's nicely painted, there is just not much making me want to look at it for more than a few seconds which may be where the lack of response comes in.
I think you could improve it allot with a little more suggestion of story. Well done thus far!

[Yanifska]

Hey, It's a nice piece rendering wise but it doesn't feel too interesting as far as narrative. If they're moving through the water you might see some ripples which would give a sense of movement and might make it more interesting. You could think of many reasons why these guys are in this place, maybe if you add some details to suggest what they are doing? I see guns, maybe you could add something in the image to suggest why they need the guns. it's nicely painted, there is just not much making me want to look at it for more than a few seconds which may be where the lack of response comes in.
I think you could improve it allot with a little more suggestion of story. Well done thus far!

thanks a lot, you may well be right.
 It was an atmospheric environment piece  I made for the final assignment of the environment design course on schoolism. 
So I guessed I focused a lot on the location and less on the narrative. I think I'll come back to it later, and try to think to some narrative clues to add here and there.
My thinking is if it was "beautiful enough", people should have reacted to it somehow, I guess I fell in the grey zone, where it is somewhat good but not enough to provoke a reaction.
Thanks mate !!!

[Amit Dutta]

Hey Yaniv, I would add more detail and a bit lighter value to that tower structure behind the figures. Use it as a framing element, it will help drive the composition especially in that upper area, and with some focused lighting and narrative elements (perhaps some signage that implies the context) it will make it another balanced focal point and give the scene context.

[Yanifska]

Thanks a lot Amit, I like the idea of the signage idea, I am a bit afraid of having a lighter value in the background, maybe having more details will help though. But I understand the framing idea. Maybe having stairs running around this structure will help lead the eye to the characters, and give more flow to the piece