*Kid dreaming*: Some day, some day I’ll be big, might and fierce. I will fly over land, water and mountain. I’ll rule the world, humans will feel my fire. Everyone will fear me, respect me, I’ll be free.
“*Insert name*” Come down now, you have to go to school!
*Kid at school* Everyone looks the same, but the clothes of the kid are worn down and he is smaller than the rest.
*Kid being bullied*
‘If I just could be a dragon, even an average dragon…’
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Will see if I can draw something up tonight. I have no experience with comics or dragons ^^"
Awesome script! As for the 1st part (kid dreaming)， I would divide it into several frames and would not draw the kid there， only images of dragons and text. It would create a contrast with the rest of the comic. But certainly it`s up to you to decide :)
Thanks Neo! I like the idea and tried to incorporate it.
Played around with panels a bit. Not sure about how to arrange the lower half of the panels and if I need the panel with the mom.. Need to figure that out.
I like the script! it's a sweet story. I think the panel with the mom you could draw the kid instead, give us more time to 'get to know' him, and have her voice coming from off-screen, if she's saying something typically mom-like about going to school it'll be fine and obvious who she is. Also, remember in comics to lead the viewer's eye where to look next - you just want something pointing in the direction where the next panel to be read is (can be a horizon line, the edge of a desk / bed, even a character just looking in that direction) - you did it for some of the frames. Looking forward to seeing your progress ^^
Thank you Jyonny. I was thinking the same about the mom-panel. And guiding the viewers eye is a good one :).
Did some head sketches and tried to fill in the panels. Not sure if it captures to story, I have the feeling I need an extra panel to add something. But I can't really figure it out yet.. And the dragon. The dragon needs a lot of work
It's looking good! I really like how the last panel links back to the first one with the thought bubbles, it's a really neat idea and makes a nice circular thing between his dream and his daydream. I think you have a good thing going. Couple things you could do to make it more fluid (it's all just my opinion so don't take notice if it doesn't suit you) - have the bullies sat towards the back of the class, right now they're at the front and the teacher is there? It makes it feel unnatural that they'd be throwing something back at him. I think there are enough clues that it's in class without the teacher. If possible you could have the back of the main characters head in that same shot (could make him easily recognized by his hair if it's distinctive or even solid black) . Other thing perhaps have him wearing pyjamas in that second panel, so we know it's a different location - right now it feels like he could already be at school. If the mums dialogue throws it she could say something about he's gonna be late or something. Looking forward to seeing how it turns out!
Thank you Jyonny, your input is much appreciated and helpful ^^
This is the status about now. I'll ink and colour it tomorrow. I hope with the colours to make the second panel in the middle row a bit more clear about who they are talking. Other than that, I'm pretty content with it.
