Welcome Home... (Critique needed!)

[Camilleon]

So, the composition needs work, I think. I originally wanted a big sense of scale, then I wanted detail. I'm not sure you can have both. Thoughts??





Also, wherever I'm posting these JPG's online, they end up pretty pixelated. I'm not sure why...I wonder if it's because my original file is so large (I wanted to be sure I would be able to print it). The JPG's themselves, though, are only 1280 px high.

[MannUp]

I don't think there is enough interest in the top portion of the tall one to merit the taller composition, the second composition is just fine maybe a little more on top if anything? Try posting PNGs instead of JPGs and see if that helps? Don't have much else to add, pretty solid piece.

[Camilleon]

Thanks a bunch! I'll definitely try PNG's! What do you mean by "more on top"? Bubbles? Jellyfish? Rendering?

[MannUp]

Ah sorry space, just bump the top of the frame up a bit so that there is a bit of empty blue so it's not so wall to wall action.

[Amit Dutta]

The Aerosmith song, "Dude (looks like a lady)" comes to mind for some reason. Female forms, have less angles, more curves, less defined musculature, wider hips, narrower shoulders etc etc. As the person is the focus, you really want to nail this. I agree the composition if it had more interest in the upper portions would justify the height. I actually like the extended height so instead of cropping maybe add a secondary focal point at one of the tentacles at the top?
Hope it helps!

[Camilleon]

Thanks, guys! As far as musculature goes, I often use my (female) trapeze friends as models. As aerialists, we have much more defined musculature than the average woman. I prefer this, a bit à la Julie Bell.

[Amit Dutta]

Ah I see, well that is fair enough. The one thing about Julie Bell's characters though is that while they are pretty well muscled, they are also undeniably feminine. What I think your character exhibits is more androgenous than anything. If this is what you are going for then it's all good, but if not, you might want to look at pushing some things back a bit more to the feminine side. As a quick diagnostic I'd say maybe softening up the face and making that less masculine might go a long way. Anyway it's up to you what you want to portray, so the balls in your court. :)

[Camilleon]

Thanks! Yeah, maybe I'll give her softer cheeks, wider hips, or something...

[JavierP]

Hi Camilleon,
I really like the vertical format of this piece. There seems to be an interesting story going on here. As far as the composition goes, I would suggest trying a different viewpoint to emphasize the 'huge-ness' of the tentacle elements. I also think that extending the value range of the image would go a long way to creating visual interest throughout the image. Currently there are no deep darks nor bright lights. In fact the elements in the composition with the lightest value are the jellyfish. This detracts from the figure, which I assume is the true focal point. I don't think you need to add more elements to your image to generate interest. I think with a bit of re-arrangement you could increase the dynamism of the piece and utilize the space more efficiently to display detail. I made a small sketch to show you what I mean. Hope this helps.

[Camilleon]

Wow, thank you, Javier! I can see exactly what you mean! That is a MUCH more dynamic perspective. Your sketch is ten times more effective than my finished piece!