01-19-2017, 08:40 AM
Good to see you progressing with this Zombie :).
Just a couple more thoughts for you if I may.
On your page 3, she is leaving on her broomstick and being pensive - it's not clear to me why she is being pensive, even after seeing how the story ends - is this deliberate? Is it a mystery that you will reveal to us later on? If not you might need to help the reader understand the pensiveness a little more.
Also being pensive and taking off might not need to take up the whole of page 3. Please feel free to ignore this as an idea but how about just using 2 or 3 panels to show pensiveness and taking off and then use the second half of page 3 to show her approaching her house. Then you could use most of page 4 to tackle your fears about making it obvious that her plants are magical. Maybe use a couple of panels to show them levitating around her welcoming her home? Just a thought.
Keep it going though Zombie - good work so far :).
Just a couple more thoughts for you if I may.
On your page 3, she is leaving on her broomstick and being pensive - it's not clear to me why she is being pensive, even after seeing how the story ends - is this deliberate? Is it a mystery that you will reveal to us later on? If not you might need to help the reader understand the pensiveness a little more.
Also being pensive and taking off might not need to take up the whole of page 3. Please feel free to ignore this as an idea but how about just using 2 or 3 panels to show pensiveness and taking off and then use the second half of page 3 to show her approaching her house. Then you could use most of page 4 to tackle your fears about making it obvious that her plants are magical. Maybe use a couple of panels to show them levitating around her welcoming her home? Just a thought.
Keep it going though Zombie - good work so far :).
“Today, give a stranger one of your smiles. It might be the only sunshine he sees all day.” -- H. Jackson Brown Jr.
CD Sketchbook
CD Sketchbook