01-05-2017, 02:49 PM
Thank you so much to everyone for the thoughtful, awesome responses! I worked on the script and layout of the first two pages some today.
Artloader- Thanks for the tips! I've been wrestling with the script internally for a while, I think because I was aware of how boring it was, and you definitely helped me add some life to it. I haven't gotten around to playing with camera angles in page 1 quite yet (ahh, perspective?!), but I certainly plan on it!
Admbrns- Cool, thanks for the insight! Like I mentioned to artloader, I definitely plan on playing around with camera angles, I want to try it out over the next days but I'm so bad at perspective, I'm quite nervous. And thanks for pointing out the monotony of the panels on page 2, I think I mixed it up a little for the better.
John- Yooo, thanks for the paintovers, man! Your insight is very appreciated, I took most of your advice (some things you mentioned where not intentional decisions that I intended on keeping in, but I appreciate it all the same).
RottenPocket- Hey, thanks for the example images! The second group of images especially are super nice. I took your advice and attempted to add more life to the scenes, although right now all I have is the loose sketches.
Okay, so here are pages 1 and 2 again:
![[Image: page1wip2_zpsu5i8vpxn.jpg]](http://i233.photobucket.com/albums/ee268/Charlie342/page1wip2_zpsu5i8vpxn.jpg)
I didn't really change the dialogue for this page, but I'll add it here (may be confusing since I forgot to add the bubbles, woops!):
1. "Please let me set you up with a blind date!"
2. "I don't know..."
3. "C'mon, what's the worst that could happen?"
4. "Do I really need to say?"
5. "You're always so pessimistic."
6. "Yeah..."
![[Image: page2wip2_zpsmupc1ac4.jpg]](http://i233.photobucket.com/albums/ee268/Charlie342/page2wip2_zpsmupc1ac4.jpg)
Page 2 shows some more dialogue happening.
1) *Character 1* There's a new guy at work, he's nice, you would love him!
2) *Character 2* I don't need a partner, I'm happy with...what I have...
3) *Ch 1* Sigh... Well, I should get going. My shift starts soon.
4) *Ch 2* Yeah, I should go home.
5) *Ch 1* Promise you'll call me if you change your mind?
6) *Ch2* ...Sure.
Panel 4 shows the two of them standing, putting their coats on, and leaving a tip at the table. I want to get pages 3 and 4 sketched out by the end of this week, and hopefully have more polished panels drawn out, too.
I'd still appreciate any insight from anyone, and I'll probably continue to add more stuff here over the next few weeks, along with possibly the next comic I work on as well? Either that or I'll make a new thread for the new comic, but that won't be quite yet.
Thanks again to everyone!
Artloader- Thanks for the tips! I've been wrestling with the script internally for a while, I think because I was aware of how boring it was, and you definitely helped me add some life to it. I haven't gotten around to playing with camera angles in page 1 quite yet (ahh, perspective?!), but I certainly plan on it!
Admbrns- Cool, thanks for the insight! Like I mentioned to artloader, I definitely plan on playing around with camera angles, I want to try it out over the next days but I'm so bad at perspective, I'm quite nervous. And thanks for pointing out the monotony of the panels on page 2, I think I mixed it up a little for the better.
John- Yooo, thanks for the paintovers, man! Your insight is very appreciated, I took most of your advice (some things you mentioned where not intentional decisions that I intended on keeping in, but I appreciate it all the same).
RottenPocket- Hey, thanks for the example images! The second group of images especially are super nice. I took your advice and attempted to add more life to the scenes, although right now all I have is the loose sketches.
Okay, so here are pages 1 and 2 again:
I didn't really change the dialogue for this page, but I'll add it here (may be confusing since I forgot to add the bubbles, woops!):
1. "Please let me set you up with a blind date!"
2. "I don't know..."
3. "C'mon, what's the worst that could happen?"
4. "Do I really need to say?"
5. "You're always so pessimistic."
6. "Yeah..."
Page 2 shows some more dialogue happening.
1) *Character 1* There's a new guy at work, he's nice, you would love him!
2) *Character 2* I don't need a partner, I'm happy with...what I have...
3) *Ch 1* Sigh... Well, I should get going. My shift starts soon.
4) *Ch 2* Yeah, I should go home.
5) *Ch 1* Promise you'll call me if you change your mind?
6) *Ch2* ...Sure.
Panel 4 shows the two of them standing, putting their coats on, and leaving a tip at the table. I want to get pages 3 and 4 sketched out by the end of this week, and hopefully have more polished panels drawn out, too.
I'd still appreciate any insight from anyone, and I'll probably continue to add more stuff here over the next few weeks, along with possibly the next comic I work on as well? Either that or I'll make a new thread for the new comic, but that won't be quite yet.
Thanks again to everyone!