Joseph's shiny new sketchbook
Alright alright. Here's some of my little 8x10 portraits


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pencil drawings from life


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some of my paintings. The still life I think turned out pretty well, I enjoyed looking at the set-up.


I guess I haven't uploaded because i'm too lazy to get the pictures off my phone, but also because I've become pretty burnt out from my academic work. I haven't completely lost interest, but I don't find it creatively exciting, and I've produced so much of it that I'm more likely to throw it away or put it in a drawer than put it on display. Maybe strange and depressing psychology going on there, but I haven't had the happiest time in the past months. 

I'm really excited to have more illustration opportunities in the future though, I feel really hopeful in that regard.


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Exquisite work my friend! I see why you enjoyed that still life so much. It turned out fantastic, I would hang that on my living room wall! Keep sharing these!

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(03-13-2023, 10:07 AM)JosephCow Wrote: I guess I haven't uploaded because i'm too lazy to get the pictures off my phone, but also because I've become pretty burnt out from my academic work. I haven't completely lost interest, but I don't find it creatively exciting, and I've produced so much of it that I'm more likely to throw it away or put it in a drawer than put it on display. Maybe strange and depressing psychology going on there, but I haven't had the happiest time in the past months.

Might just be an unavoidable consequence of doing the same thing for so long, especially when it's something academic. But everything you posted really is excellent. The feeling of light and solidity in them is amazing.

Hope you get to do some illustration that's more to your liking soon, and that you will feel refreshed.
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I'm so sorry to hear that! I agree with Public Enemy, this seems to be the effect of doing too much of the same. The novelty has worn off, it's likely all practice and no learning exciting new things. If we're anything alike, that learning and experimentation component is a huge part of getting enjoyment out of art, so I deeply empathize.

Your academic work itself is a delight to look at. It holds little mystery to you, but we who haven't been involved in its creation and haven't stared at it for hours find it amazing! I love everything, and the ones in your latest post in in which you got more playful with hues and the representation of smaller plane changes are wonderful. Seriously, this is cream of the crop level of work.

So, the bad news: This kind of ennui might return in pro work. It sucks, but at least you'll have more creative latitude to combat it. Dealing with it is a useful skill to cultivate.

In academic work you don't have much latitude; Can't change composition, setting or whatever else; And I'm not sure how far you're allowed to go, but it's still possible to get away with minor transgressions. Pushing colors is the sneakier one, but altering the rendering, even the material, inserting fill lights that don't exist, playing with edges, exaggerating shapes, they're all ways to claw back a little enjoyment from crushing sameness.

I don't know how much freedom you have to set up your still life compositions. Adding materials you don't get to render very often also add a dash of novelty. More stuff with optical properties like glass, liquids. Greenies like succulents, which have a wide range of "finishes". Colorful neon lights.

All academic work seems to be taking place in close range, in a closed studio space. If allowed to go out and paint some scenery, you'll not only get to do something different but flex muscles that will serve you well in pro work. Hues of fill light barely shift in close quarters, there's no atmospheric perspective going on, no architecture, vegetation or animal life, little chance to practice going "LOD" on dense background details... All aspects you'll get to depict, sometimes a lot, if you go the fantasy/sci-fi route.

Lastly, a good skill to practice is speed. Because sometimes the best way to approach boring ass work is to get over with it asap. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I hope you find a way to combat that ill feeling. And to reiterate, the academic stuff is wonderful. If that's the level of your uninspired work I can't wait to see the stuff that thrills you!

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There always a bright side but sometime time doesn't give us the best time if you see what i mean.There thing we want to prioritize and that mean sacrifice. You will once day look back at your academic day and be glad you had such a fundation to support whatever direction you decide with your more creative work.I certainly understand the difficulty to move away from academic work as it build habit and creative blockage due to repetition and leak of confidence in the more imaginative aspect of the art form.Very glad to hear you end the post with a positive that the spirit.

My Sketchbook

Perfection is unmeasurable therefor it impossible to reach it.
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The last two painted portraits (382, 383) look less academic to me, maybe you were given more latitude with the setup, pose or atmosphere? If costumes and accessories were freely available, would you be allowed to paint in an academic way unusual subjects such as a Darth Vader in a metallic hallway, the first encounter of a hunter-gatherer with an light bulb, etc?

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Thanks for the encouragement, guys, I really appreciate it. :) It's not just the art, but other stuff as well. I'm gonna be fine. 

 I don't regret doing it, but I just kind of need to be done for a while. I think with this type of school, one of the difficulties is that this is an art that can be moralistic. Your goal is ultimately correctness, and stiving for that goal often comes at the price of some of your happiness. Truth in art is seen as a virtue, so the more true to life your work is, the greater it is. And manners of art are considered worse the less they seem to visually resemble life. I doubt most people in ateliers would say this is what they believe, necessarily, but actions speak louder sometimes. Though you can make worthwhile pictures by just painting life faithfully, I think neglecting other aspects of art like creativity, storytelling, invention, themes, design is kinda sad.

Darth Vader is out of the question right now but someday soon, maybe. 


Here's one I'm working on now for good measure.


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(03-15-2023, 12:45 PM)Leo Ki Wrote: The last two painted portraits (382, 383) look less academic to me, maybe you were given more latitude with the setup, pose or atmosphere? If costumes and accessories were freely available, would you be allowed to paint in an academic way unusual subjects such as a Darth Vader in a metallic hallway, the first encounter of a hunter-gatherer with an light bulb, etc?

They actually were done after hours, more casual sketches. So you're very right

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(03-17-2023, 12:04 PM)JosephCow Wrote: They actually were done after hours, more casual sketches. So you're very right

They talked to me more at the emotional level, while the others did at the esthetic level. I appreciate both effects but not in the same manner.

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I get this kind of "drowning in life" feeling, that's why my real life sketchbook has huge gaps.

Ateliers are great points of access to knowledge, but it sounds like they suck too. I got the same sensation from other artists in ateliers — it's no coincidence I called minor deviations from the reference transgressive, hah.

In any case, wonderful painting. You have a great sense of volumetric shadow (I'm sure there's a proper traditional name to them but dunno), it's inspiring. This kind of subtle, large occlusion-like form/cast shadow is a straightforward addition at the end in digital works, but I find them challenging in traditional media.

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(03-19-2023, 11:13 AM)dimensional-knight Wrote: I get this kind of "drowning in life" feeling, that's why my real life sketchbook has huge gaps.

Ateliers are great points of access to knowledge, but it sounds like they suck too. I got the same sensation from other artists in ateliers — it's no coincidence I called minor deviations from the reference transgressive, hah.

In any case, wonderful painting. You have a great sense of volumetric shadow (I'm sure there's a proper traditional name to them but dunno), it's inspiring. This kind of subtle, large occlusion-like form/cast shadow is a straightforward addition at the end in digital works, but I find them challenging in traditional media.

Yeah I mean it certainly doesn't hurt to be able to draw really well from life. I think that being in touch with how things around you actually look is pretty valuable. It just comes with a lot of other stuff as well that never really gets scrutinized. I think it's also pretty easy to get narrow minded and purist. You start to stick your nose up at art that doesn't seem to match the conventions you're accustomed to, which just happens to be almost all art. I've kind of realized going to museums, like hey most of this is really different to what I'm doing.

And thanks! Usually for this kind of painting the light and shadow is baked into the design. Like things are drawn first as a pattern of light and shadow shapes. And it kind of makes sense because it's much harder to just decide to alter the values on a whim, whereas in digital a lot of the time you can do things in stages, and the lighting is a lot more malleable.

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(03-17-2023, 12:02 PM)JosephCow Wrote: Thanks for the encouragement, guys, I really appreciate it. :) It's not just the art, but other stuff as well. I'm gonna be fine. 

 I don't regret doing it, but I just kind of need to be done for a while. I think with this type of school, one of the difficulties is that this is an art that can be moralistic. Your goal is ultimately correctness, and stiving for that goal often comes at the price of some of your happiness. Truth in art is seen as a virtue, so the more true to life your work is, the greater it is. And manners of art are considered worse the less they seem to visually resemble life. I doubt most people in ateliers would say this is what they believe, necessarily, but actions speak louder sometimes. Though you can make worthwhile pictures by just painting life faithfully, I think neglecting other aspects of art like creativity, storytelling, invention, themes, design is kinda sad.

Darth Vader is out of the question right now but someday soon, maybe. 


Here's one I'm working on now for good measure.

My artistic eye is not as great as yours but wow I really love how you managed to capture the pumpkin's likeness!

I'm guessing you're going to make the values (the wall, the shadow underneath the blanket where the pumpkin is, and the shadow under the table edge) more lighter? Since you mentioned this was what you are working on right now.
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(03-19-2023, 03:22 PM)mechapark Wrote:
(03-17-2023, 12:02 PM)JosephCow Wrote: Thanks for the encouragement, guys, I really appreciate it. :) It's not just the art, but other stuff as well. I'm gonna be fine. 

 I don't regret doing it, but I just kind of need to be done for a while. I think with this type of school, one of the difficulties is that this is an art that can be moralistic. Your goal is ultimately correctness, and stiving for that goal often comes at the price of some of your happiness. Truth in art is seen as a virtue, so the more true to life your work is, the greater it is. And manners of art are considered worse the less they seem to visually resemble life. I doubt most people in ateliers would say this is what they believe, necessarily, but actions speak louder sometimes. Though you can make worthwhile pictures by just painting life faithfully, I think neglecting other aspects of art like creativity, storytelling, invention, themes, design is kinda sad.

Darth Vader is out of the question right now but someday soon, maybe. 


Here's one I'm working on now for good measure.

My artistic eye is not as great as yours but wow I really love how you managed to capture the pumpkin's likeness!

I'm guessing you're going to make the values (the wall, the shadow underneath the blanket where the pumpkin is, and the shadow under the table edge) more lighter? Since you mentioned this was what you are working on right now.

Thanks! and yeah, I did think it looked too dark the other day and experimented with lighter values. The black board is kind of reflective, so depending on where the camera is it also can look darker, though.

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Had a break from commissioned work for a bit so decided to just do one of these tonight. Really gave me a chance to think about stuff as well. I ended up quitting my art school a year early, which was a hard decision to make. It really was something that I had formed my life around for a long time, and I was pretty good at it. I feel kind of guilty in a way because I was lucky to get the opportunities I did, not everyone gets that chance, yet I just really didn't feel like I could work with the school, personally. and artistically it just wasn't there for me. The classical realism thing is cool like I love painting from life. But it's one aspect of art. Yet it's treated with religious reverence. There was never any room for critique of ideas, or even just questions. 

 There were some beautiful things done there, but some really unimpressive things as well, for the time put into them. I didn't see it going where I wanted it to. A lot of the artists I looked up to were always regarded as like, well they're good except not really because they don't look like this exact style of painting that we are doing. And I'm just like, I'm sick of spending 50 hours drawings a naked person and having it mean nothing. I'll spend a couple hours painting this garfield toy for no reason, but not months.  I think it was a kind of arch-conservative attitude toward art. A love of tradition, and hate of modernity. And a genuine love of nature and beauty, too. I had some things in common with it, but ultimately it's not really for me.

But anyway enough angsty rambling. All experiences are formative to an extent, even if it's realizing you don't like something, so I don't regret it.



sketch vs. final 


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It come a time were we are all looking for were own artistic freedom.I remember being the student who had alot of question but it probably because i wasn't drawing enough i wanted to first understand what were the rule so i could break them.But the only way was to draw or those rule would remain in the abstract.

I remember one of my mentor was more of a draw and you will find the answers type.I think i took me a time to realize that even if you know something it doesn't mean it translate into the work.

So you might have not all the answers now that you are breaking away from your mold but i am sure you got the potential to transform into a beautiful ''butterfly''

I can certain related to having difficulty enjoying certain subject matter but i think in the end being outside of what you draw make you a better artist because not only will you be able to express yourself later down the road you have build the patience for more commercial work let say an artist also as to live.
You also build an appreciation for thing that are outside your own and this is enriching you see beauty in the simplest thing.

My Sketchbook

Perfection is unmeasurable therefor it impossible to reach it.
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your portrait paintings are excellent man

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Thanks for sharing your experience with your art school. Given how you feel, I agree that quitting was the right choice. If something doesn't feel right, it's always best to trust your intuition. I remember I had a similar experience when I was in college; I was majoring in Graphic Design at the time, and I wasn't happy with that decision after a while as I preferred the illustration courses so I left and became self taught. There's a lot of great material out there now for artists to study from so I feel like this is the best time for artists to do their own thing.

With that said, I love what you've done with your recent painting. You captured the lighting incredibly well, and I love the brushwork and painterly style, while still playing up the details in the process. I always admire artists that can pull of that look, and you make it look easy! Great job and best of luck to you on your artistic journey!

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As always, mad respect for the amount of dedication and progress you did make with your studies. You can only know yourself better by making this decision.

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